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November 28 2001 |
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November 28 2001
T.M.I. = Too Much Information
Everytime we go to visit Grandma in Sacremento, CA, she manages to say something that makes her look like she's either senile or racist (which reminds me of how racist Asian cultures can be to anyone not Asian). The particular victim of this year's statement was my cousin's wife.
If you took what Grandma said at face value, my cousin's wife should have been wearing a kimono, bowing every other minute, walking three steps behind my cousin, and keeping generally quiet unless directly addressed (which are somehow features of the stereotypical Japanese woman). I believe the term was "Japanesey."
So of course I have this false mental image of a short little geisha girl with a pasty complexion and an unsatiable desire to serve tea and sake. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I met the woman and she's as American as I am. Sure, she's nice and polite and all. But she is, by no means, what I would term "Japanesey." Not that I really know what "Japanesey" is, but I'm pretty sure I know what it is not. And she was certainly not "Japanesey."
There are a few issues here worth addressing, the most obvious being the fact that Asian against everyone else racism is somehow engendered in my older relatives. Whenever I am subjected to large gatherings of the older croud, there's nary a White or Black person to be found. And actually, when we had Turkey Day dinner with all the cousins closer to my age and my parents age, the only other ethnicity present were the few white boys that happened to be married or hitched to one of the Asian ladies. I understand ethnocentricism exists in almost every ethnic community. But it's just weird to see such an ethnocentric group when I'm used to mixing with just about everybody. My impression was that the West coast was a much more diverse place that the Washington, DC area. And though it might actually be true, my family was no indication of that. I was somewhat disappointed, but then I realized how insane they were. I really wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy.
My initial mental vision of my cousin's wife was completely inaccurate. Sure, she didn't fit the mental profile that I associated with a traditional Japanese woman, but I also now realize that even that association was flawed. I've never really met a Japanese woman who was submissive and subservient. Most of the Japanese women I've met have been very vocal and very willing to express themselves (one girl actually declaired her love for me which is something that I would have thought very taboo for a "typical" Japanese girl). None of them have ever served me tea or sake. And none of them ever walked two steps behind me. I should have known better and I should have been better. There's no such thing as a typical anything.
The short thing is also a falacy. I was informed some time ago from a reader studying in Japan (wow, I actually have readers!) that the up-coming generation of Japanese youth are eating their Wheaties and growing much taller than previous generations.
I think a lot of these stereotypical ideas about Japanese women are associated with the geisha. The geisha are sort of like high priced call girls. I don't know all the history and tradition of the geisha, but these are the chicks who wear the kimono, serve you tea, give you massages, all that. So with this image in mind, you might expect a Japanese woman to be submissive and subservient. And though women's role in Japan is well established (generally lower than men), I doubt the "typical" Japanese woman would fit the geisha girl profile. I don't have any real evidence other than to point to people I have met, but I'm fairly certain that the geisha image can be isolated to the actual geisha.
The other thing that I learned is that babies can smell 3vil. My cousin and his totally un-"Japanesey" wife recently had a baby. They brought the little baby girl to the dinner and every time one of the relatives tried to hold her, she'd look at them and cry her eyes out. Me and my brother were able to make her laugh and make faces at us. So don't ask me how I made the jump to 3vil, but I'm pretty sure that some of my relatives reek of 3vil. The look of 3vil is strong with some of them. Maybe babies are 3vil detectors. That or maybe the baby just didn't want to be held by anyone else. Ah well, you learn something new everyday.
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